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Ki
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Do you feel like you’re constantly swimming against the tide instead of embracing the natural flow of life? If you’re really honest with yourself, the answer is probably, yes. Majority of us have been conditioned to think that we are supposed to control life. Ideas of how things “should” be have bombarded us since our early childhood; through television programming, magazine articles, music and now, social media.
Ideal situations of how life should work have been engraved in us and when it doesn’t go the way we imagined, we suffer emotionally. This idea of creating scenarios prior to them happening has become a way of life for many of us. Not that we shouldn’t dream or hold hopeful expectations of having a good time, but it’s more beneficial for us to hold a cheerful vibration, than an expectation of the entire occasion.
When we set parameters around how we would like things to go, we can find ourselves disappointed at the outcome. This usually happen because there’s factors we don’t consider when we’re daydreaming. I’ve found that when I simply allow, I find peace. Allowing is one of our greatest tools in raising our consciousness, because it gives us an opportunity to see things exactly as they are.
When this happens we may catch a glimpse of ourselves in action, seeing our thoughts and behaviors from a different perspective. Possibly even stop and ask ourselves “now why did I just say that? – Or why did I just do that?” Seeing ourselves is a major factor for our soul’s growth. When we see how our actions are affecting us and those around us, it empowers us to choose differently.
The Opposite Of Allowing
The opposite of allowing is resistance. When we are in a state of resistance, we are not accepting what is and we rarely see ourselves because we’re fully engaged in the process of defending our expectations. This is usually the ego (the mind) at play. The ego likes to have full control over things and when it doesn’t, it usually throws a temper tantrum.
This is our attempt to hold on to the illusion we created. What I mean by illusion is: the made up story within our mind. And when the day/evening start to go off course of what we envisioned, we become agitated and sometimes ready to throw the whole day/evening away!
How many times have you found yourself in this type of scenario? Before going on my journey of self-discovery, I’d experience this so much that I can’t even count! I’m literally trying to find one specific example to share with you all and I’m struggling to pin down even one.
Let me think for a second. Ah, here’s one. I’m choosing this one because I believe a lot of us can relate to this type of situation.
It was 2006; and I decided to make plans for Sweetest Day (a holiday only celebrated in like two U.S States lol) for the guy I was dating at the time. I had planned this entire romantic evening. I spent all week deciding on the dinner I would cook, the outfit I would wear and how he was going to react. Yes, I even planned his reaction. But what I did not plan for was the Tigers playing in the World Series that day. Who knew!? Well, he knew -because after dinner, instead of us going into the second part of our premeditated evening, he turned on the TV to watch the last half of the game. I didn’t fly off the handle, but I was certainly soaking in disappointment.
Up until then; the evening had been great. And if I had been in a mindset of allowing, I could have easily switched gears for a little bit and enjoyed the end of the game with him. I mean it really wasn’t unreasonable for him to want to see the ending. He had already sacrificed the beginning. But instead of me embracing what was, I spent the rest of our time together in a bad mood. And I basically summed up the entire day as just a waste, when it wasn’t a waste at all. My trying to hold onto the story I created in my head is what caused it to feel that way.
I know that is a very superficial example for such a real topic, but I think we all have been in these type of predicaments. From expectations of how the holidays “should” go, to relationships, jobs ect.,. You name it; we’ve created an illusion for it. What I am hoping to achieve by sharing this is: to bring light to how our mind work in this way and how it often holds us in bondage from simply enjoying more of our life. I encourage you all to be more present, release the illusions & control and thoroughly enjoy life!
“Be in it for the experience, not the outcome “ – Monique Head
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